The Secret Ingredient to Dating & Relationship Success
The love you have for yourself is inextricably intertwined with the love you have for others. Which means, how you regularly take care of yourself can reflect the type of love you offer others. Is your love needy and greedy or is it selfless and unconditional? Loving selflessly sounds wonderful in theory but emotional maturity doesn’t always lend itself to dating and relationships. Imagine those moments when you default back to your learned patterns of childhood behaviour (e.g. avoiding, blaming, seeking approval, “punishing”), how do these habits show up now in your adult self and are these loving ways of behaving towards yourself or another person? These behaviours may be learned ways of coping or behaving badly but you can change them once you are aware of their presence.
So, if you find yourself single or coupled and complaining about your relationship or lack of one, consider reflecting on how healthy your relationship with yourself is. If you would really like to change or improve your love life you need to first improve the way you currently self-love.
Drawing on my experience as a dating and relationship coach, the following behaviours identify how being high/low in self-love has impacted on the way my single and coupled clients experience dating and relationships.
SINGLES LOW IN SELF-LOVE DESCRIBE;
WHEREAS SINGLES HIGH IN SELF-LOVE DESCRIBE;
COUPLES LOW IN SELF-LOVE DESCRIBE BEING;
COUPLES HIGH IN SELF-LOVE DESCRIBE;
Annie Lavin is a dating-relationship coach and psychology lecturer. She is based in Dublin and at the moment works remotely. She empowers people to achieve relationship success by transforming their relationship with self. Annie is passionate about supporting singles and couples in creating and maintaining healthy meaningful relationships amid the chaos of the modern world. More information on her services can be found here: www.therelationshipcoach.ie.